|  |  | Telling family and friends |
When you receive your diagnosis you may find it difficult to tell friends and family. It is important to remember that, like you, they will be confused and upset and may not know what to do to help. There is no right way to deal with your friends and family, after all you know them better than anyone. The important thing in any family is to talk about how you feel. Tell them how they can help, even if it is doing something ‘normal’ with your friends to take your mind off your disease or treatment.
| Getting along with family during treatment |
For most people with cancer, the family becomes an important support network. They’ll want to help you out when you are feeling tired or ill. This can mean a life-changing time for you and your family that can lead to feelings of guilt, anger and frustration. Every family has their own way of coping with these feelings but whatever that is, make sure you don’t bottle all your feelings up. Talking to your friends or a counsellor can really help.
And, just because you have cancer doesn’t mean you won’t still have arguments about the normal stuff with your families too!
Some drugs, called steroids can make you feel grumpy. This can affect your relationship with family and friends. It will be easier to deal with this if you explain that the drugs are to blame for your bad mood, and not them.
A relationship can be another important support when you are diagnosed and are having treatment. A boyfriend or girlfriend can be a good person to talk about hopes and concerns.
| Who makes the decisions? |
Some parents find it hard to let their children make decisions about their treatment, even when they are young adults. In other families, the person with cancer wants their family to be part of the decision-making process. It is really important to discuss issues like this with your family and let them know to what level you would like them to be involved.
| Brothers and sisters |
Brothers and sisters, especially those who are younger than you can find it very difficult to cope with your cancer diagnosis. The attention that you need from the rest of your family can make siblings confused and resentful.
Many people, however, say that the experience of cancer in the family really brings them closer and makes them realise how lucky they are to have each other.
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| | "I felt really confused to start with as I had no symptoms except for being anaemic, then panic as I thought I was going to die. I had no idea what this cancer called ALL was, except that it was bad"
"I used to feel so bad when I would cry and complain because there was nothing I could do to make me well again. My mum couldn’t say or do anything….I just wanted to express my feelings"
"I was in a relationship all the way through my diagnosis and treatment. It only affected us when I had to go away to have a stem cell transplant. Other than that, our relationship became stronger"
"My mum always made sure that the doctors were talking to me, not her. It really annoyed me when the doctors treated me like a child"
"For six weeks my sister didn't really see my mum and she began to really resent me. She didn't act like there was anything wrong until her teacher called my parents into school because she had written an essay about how much she hated me and how she wished that she could be ill too so that people would talk to her"
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